Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Excerpts :

She woke up early, which probably was a mistake because it presented the problem of what to do next. The monsoons were long over and her lips were starting to burn and chap in the evenings. A sign belying the mugginess of Mumbai that heralded the coming of whatever was left of winter. She missed the rains. The cul de sac that was her social life thrived in the rains because she could always tell herself that it was too damn wet outside to meet friends. But today she had no excuse.

“We have to do something tonight” her friend at the new job who now seemed like she was joined at her hip said when she entered the house in the morning. They had been hanging out everyday for the past two weeks. While she hated being alone, she was starting to genuinely like the girl. Which was worse.

“There’s a party tonight…” friend at new job, currently joined at the hip said suddenly at midday

“Gauravs friend Hishams cousins party…. We have to go!” she spat incredulously leaving no space for a negative response.

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The party was already a haze by the time she got there. Three large glasses of Madera and a lost auto ride later she entered the garishly white orchid decorated gate of Gaurav’s friend Hishams cousins do. It was almost one am. A large girl in a small black dress and two huge ponytails, (Imagine waist length hair in ponytails) that spouted directly from both sides of her cranium, and a large red bindi joining the traditional white dots over the two eyebrows opened the gate wide and screamed at her with utter familiarity to please come in and join the merriment. She preferred to stay outside of course with friend at new job and friend at new jobs’ friend. There was quite a crowd outside. A nice party spill. Very A night at the Roxbury ish. People were standing around in paralytic drunken hazes. Everyone thought there was someone sober enough to order a cab and everyone was quite wrong. So they continued to stand around, holding on to each other or holding vague, intimate conversations, the kind that alcohol makes possible. She joins in. Friend at new job introduces her to new boy who she said is soooo perfect for her that evening as they fought for space at the mirror. Friend from new job is quite wrong. New boy is wearing a beret. He is bald underneath. He looks like Piyush Mishra from Dil Se. Friend at new job introduces her to him and it literally seems like his cock jumps at the sight of her because he is onto her like a lusty leech for the rest of the night. Lusty bald leech drags her into the party. She hmm’s and really’s at him perfunctorily. They are sitting on the patio outside that is also smothered with white orchids. It is apparently Gaurav’s friend Hishams’cousins birthday party. Weird pigtail accomplice is cousins sister. Cousin has passed out upstairs and she would not have the pleasure of wishing him she is told sadly by weird Bengali marriage bindi pigtail. Bald leech keeps disappearing intermittently. She follows him on one of the trips inside the house. There is no furniture inside the house. Large ‘glow in the dark’ neon tapestries with images of mushrooms and space ships and intergalactic travel adorn the walls though. She searches for the bathroom. No one seems sane enough to ask for directions and bald leech is MIA. Suddenly weird pigtail surfaces in her line of vision. She asks her reluctantly and is immediately dragged by a force like as if weird pigtail had shoved her hand into her guts and yanked her innards out; to the bathroom. Bathroom looks like it has all the missing house furniture. It is big and round and has a two seater and many stools. Also a commode. Also a sink. People are sitting on commode and sink, thankfully not defecating, but with the vapid constrained look of the very constipated. When she looks to her left large mirror counter with people bent over it in what she thinks is a funny impersonation of gay porn/doggie style position. But their pants are on. Infact all clothes are on. On closer look, lines of white powder neatly drawn is what is causing this arousing partial genuflection. She sighs and says to weird pig “not this kind of relief” and is dejectedly directed to the actual loo.

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She took an early morning flight back home. She hated early morning flights. It took all of three minutes for the fights to start at home. She slammed the door and went out for a walk. The city had changed so much in the last four years since she had stopped living there. She saw a tall long haired boy walking towards her and reflexively crossed the road. The boy used to be someone she knew. He would be sweet and ask her how she was in his honeyed droll voice. He was also cute and she did have a crush on him in school. But she still crossed the road, and looked sharply ahead aware of his every movement as he passed by her diametrically across the road. Her family sent her several apologetic messages on her walk. She wasn’t even angry she realized. She replied back saying she was sorry too but didn’t turn back. She even agreed to meet the boys her mother wanted her to meet. She was a month away from turning 25 after all. The experience would leave her sadder though. She wished that in the movie that she would make someday about her life, she could have that quintessential scene where the mother introduces the daughter to suitors. Archetypal suitors. Those delicious epigrams – short pygmy like, snorty pompous oaf, misogynist date rapist, mummy’s ‘bitty’ boy, I’ll allow you to work after marriage boy, Lusty Bald leech etc. Instead she met nice, intelligent young men. They were practical and bright and wanted a happy future….

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Epilogue :

New friend was extracted from the hip by the onslaught of diwali homegoing.

Lusty bald leech had snorted so much by the end of the party that he lost his libido among other things

'She' apparently has a problem. She does believe in love after all.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Vwah Vwah janaab... aap tho...

discombobulated said...

i see the swayamvar didnt go down well...

Anonymous said...

coke parties!!!!! what the hell!!