Sick!! That’s right, miserably, horribly, painfully sick! Something called ‘Herpangina’ has kept me under house arrest the past two weeks! Of course the minute I say this to people the whole slew of “Herpes! Herpes? Who have you been kissing?” “Herpangina? You’re sure its not long form for herpes no? Who have you been blowing eww?” chee chee. Shantam Paapam. Such dirty minds people have these days.
So for the record. It is NOT HERPES. Also for the record Herpes does not always mean a sexually transmitted disease. Small children have Herpes for crying out loud. Infact its mostly small children who have Herpangina as well. Which made me wonder why and how I’d contracted it in the first place. It’s a strain of the famous ‘foot and mouth’ epidemic disease (Ya ya loff loff!) Then as my sister very succinctly put it, it all had to make sense, “Aiyaa, some place you must have eaten, bearer boy wouldn’t have washed his hands after making kaka and you must have eaten from that plate”. Yes so since there is no other explanation. We’re currently sticking to this one.
So what did I do? Mostly I was burning up with high fever. Then my outgoing calls got barred and I was soo sure I was going to die alone that I cried and cried and started deliriously dreaming up my funeral. Then as the fever broke I promised myself that I would find a husband this year. A nice one. One that will take leave and sit at home and put cold swab on my forehead types. This idea again my sister dearest put into my head. Sitting as she was in another country and feeling ultra sorry for me, she did one crying number and between spasms for air said “see this is why you should be married” aaah sooper. Finally THE reason that will get through to me to immediately say yes to the long line of waiting software graduates from Kentucky who want me to join em in the good ole land of plenty coz its too darn expensive to git a maid so Iets’ git hitched.
Being that lonely made me wonder though. I wasn’t technically lonely for long. I had a flatmate who called me every couple of hours from work to see how I was doing. I had family that kept threatening to catch the next flight and come over. Finally someone decided to call and word spread fast and soon lots of people started calling and coming over to check on me. But by then I knew what I was missing. A mother or a lover. Someone who I loved enough, to make me feel better.
Then such depressing thoughts quickly vanished when I had to address the need of the hour, as ulcers started making an appearance in my mouth and throat and lips and my gums were swollen enough to make me look like hanuman. So I ran to the dentist first, who said a virus was causing the ulcers and I should see my doctor immediately, then I ran to my doctor and then yes that was when the mystery that was Herpangina was solved. Of course that was just the beginning. I paid my phone bill and as the irony that is my life would have it, just when I could start calling people, my mouth refused to open.