So I didn’t play Holi. I was too ill. And so this weekend has been one of much vegetation. When I lived in Bangalore it used to end up being a busy weekend. Not because of Holi. In Bangalore pretty much no one really knew when Holi came and went. This weekend was all about Good Friday and Easter Sunday. My heavily Pentecostal school hated that these two days were declared state holidays. They wanted us poor things to attend assembly and they wanted to say things like “raise your hands you who believe in the resurrection of the almighty lord”. Inevitably all the Christian kids would sadly raise their hands, knowing that they’d get fucked at the next PT meeting if they didn’t. Us Hindu kids would smugly sit down like Raja’s and Rani’s fully aware that we simply didn’t have to. Some years we felt smug and some years we felt left out. It was pretty confusing that way.
I feel like I don’t know what to write anymore. There are no more witty lines and puns brimming in my head at 2 am which I get up and quickly jot down in my phone to remember later when I write. Maybe it’s the new laptop. I’m still not quite used to it. Maybe it’s the general state of mind fuck associated with this time of year. Not that it’s a particular time of year for everyone. Just me. March is such a mind fuck. I’m always mind fucked in March. (See. Repetitive this mind fucking is). Maybe its year end accounting madness. Maybe it’s the presence of two ex’s (actually 2 ex’es plus one random one off) who are hovering in my life again. Maybe it’s my mum getting bored of waiting for the grandchild to come out and therefore focusing her attentions on my state of non-matrimony full steam again. Maybe it’s me finally realizing that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t juggle high octane career, 2 ex’es, random day trip visiting romps and the search for better half in one breath. No I can’t. I want to be single. Painfully single. So single that just the sight of midly attractive tam bram boy sends me spiraling into ecstacy. So ecstatic that it makes me want to get up at 5 am play suprabhatam and steam idli’s for him.
Also I’m in love. Samsung 29 Inch Flat screen mounted on yon wall in living room is my calling every evening. I’ve seen No country for old men, The Darjeeling Limited, 2 days in Paris, Juno, 27 Dresses, Sex and Breakfast, American Gangster all in the span of 2 days we have had it.. Can there be a better love?