Thursday, May 29, 2008

There is this moment in time. It can happen anywhere. In an auto in heavy traffic after a mindless phone call or suddenly dawn on you mid stroke while swimming in the club pool in the morning. When you realise something about yourself and have the guts to say it aloud in your head without flinching or altering it before it structures itself into a proper sentence. When you're supposed to make a follow up call to someone and you leave it for later. When you say to yourself you want to finish 10 laps but decide to depool after 7. When you realise that this is you. This is your truth. You are the person who never finishes anything. Who will never go from point A to Z. Who stops halfway. Who always falls short. Who is never whole.

I honestly dont remember finishing an exam paper. I dont remember reading a book from cover to cover without skipping words, pages even. Even while dressing up for a night out, never complete, theres always the arms that arent waxed or the kajal that I've left to put on for later, or the dry dry toes I keep promising myself I'll moisturise before leaving and always forget. Then you realise that you dont just leave things halfway you also lose interest easily. Interest in everything. In family, in friends, in lovers. You cant even hold on to an addiction. Alcohol bores you. Cigarrettes bore you. Dope bores you. Coke bores you. And of late you feel (egad) that even sex tends to bore you. Not having it bores you. Having to pursue it bores you. Having too much of it bores you.

You are a boring, incomplete procrastinator.

7 comments:

mistercrowley said...

When even being bored, bores you...

Anonymous said...

what if there was no seeking to get away from boredom? to embrace it as you would an old friend? surely it can't bother you then.......

Pinochyo said...

Ah...Then you turn to spiritualism..dahhling:-p Great Gurus have been made that way...

El said...

nah, you're not boring, and we all get stuck in the center every now and then, worry not..besides no one dishes blywd gossip like you do :D

siropdevanille said...

Who doesn't procrastinate? And incomplete? Fun fun ;)

No boring. Not to be boring pliss.

m said...

thats me, it would be nice if i were a phase in your life which you could dub 'boring' later, it would still be a phase, life is so beautifully episodic, very few realise.

chitgo said...

damn....thoda dramatic ho gaya.