There comes a time in every girl’s life when she will look back on her relationships past and realize that she had a pattern. This may not have been immediately apparent to her and this may not be as generic a pattern as say – “always been with emotionally unavailable men”. Though we always like that one don’t we?
There will be small things. Sometimes it could be physical, like shortness, tallness, plumpness, skinniness, baldness, hirsuteness. One girlfriend I know even realized hers was manicured nails. Twelve men with perfect digits. It couldn’t be a co-incidence she felt on close thought.
I thought about mine a bit and zeroed down to two patterns. I can’t seem to choose between the two because both are apparent and synonymous with all. Accents and Absence. Accents because all men had distinct foreign accents, ranging from American to British to Scottish. And Absence because I realized I knew in all the cases beforehand that these were men who would never be in the same country/state/city as me. They had all come with expiry dates and expensive geographical routes.
Then again you could pass off the pattern as sheer anglophilia. Some were white and all were definitely global and as much as I never proscribed to allegations that I was an anglophile, if I step back and wonder maybe that was partially true in a fetish sense. I have a British girlfriend with a serious Indian male fetish and an Indian girlfriend with a serious oriental fetish. But here’s the thing - you never go searching for these men, they just tend to happen in a universe conspiring sort of way.
It did dawn me along the years though that your first relationship will always set the tone for the pattern. I don’t think I ever had a pre-conceived fetish for global denizens with acts of disappearance. But the first man did a lot of that and pretty much set the trend. Along the way I realized the pattern was something to thrive on. For starters the accents made you immediately warm up to the man - familiarity breeding lust and the Absence in some deluded way gave you the perfect excuse for the mans commitment phobia or philandering or threesome fetish (!?) or whatever came in the way of a successful relationship.
It’s a hard habit to break away from though – these patterns. Especially when your probably on a date with sweet silicon valley FOB return Brahmin boy in a posh restaurant and you’re seated next to very ordinary looking men at the table next to you, men who you wouldn’t give a second glance to, men who don’t even compare to your date here but men who catch your attention and immediate fancy the minute they open their mouths and you hear them say in that ridiculously unmistakable south hall droll “mighty pricey innit? I told’chyu man din i? I told’chyu you poncey”
And in completely random celebrity gossip type aside, apparently the highly drool worthy, want to rip black towel off and ravage him Farhan Akhtar of new found sex symbol status has a Fair Skin Fetish. An FSF! Now this is bummer type news. It is known fact/allegation that he is quite freely libidinous and fancies any PYT that crosses his path. But such racism in so hot a man?!! Very reliable source also added that this particularly means he is very averse to dusky women. Aiyo now he is officially off mental to do list as I will stand no chance only. Sad it is.