Growing up I’ve always been the kid who counted most on her family to be the birthday wishers.
Friends only knew once you came to school wearing color clothes (read – standard pink frilly frock) and a box of sweets in your hand. Two for special friends. One for acquaintances. Five Star Bar for teachers.
In college, you’d have to announce it, or simply no one knew, and considering how poor most of us were in college, it was always good to shut up or you’d get pocket raped paying for everyone’s cokes and samosa’s at the kiosk.
Nowadays there seems no way to escape the D day. Firstly and most importantly there is Facebook, which will give all and sundry a heads up 4 -5 days in advance. Then there is HR department in office that will send fancy ppt type mail to firstname.lastname@example.org and make sure even the LA and London office knows how old you are.
And after last years chaotic party, friends seem to have been looking forward to whatever party I will throw. Not unlike a New Years bash. Honest.
Anyway, I really wasn’t going to have a party this year. P and I were sure we’d have an eviction notice pinned to our broken door the next morning after the complaints we got last year. So I shrugged and said “sorry no parteh peoples”. This did not go down well with many many people and they obviously pondered about it very deeply because the next day a solution presented itself.
Z’s friend A’s empty house in Juhu. It seemed like such a long shot. Firstly I have no clue who A is. Secondly, this was no ordinary house. It was a sea facing, four bedroomed penthouse with very expensive things lying everywhere. P and me looked around and contemplated. Our middle class minds feverishly avoiding the megalomania this house was already making us feel. As we deliberated, Z showed us an sms from A, filled with the carefree hippie generosity that only the very very rich are capable of. “Cant believe you’re being so formal, it’s an empty house, have a blast”
So we did. But I chose not to get too drunk though as A) was more worried about other people getting drunk and fucking up the house b) other people getting drunk and falling off the open terrace c) A very drunk P was entertainment enough
It was a really fun party though. There was some mild celebrity presence too, not unlike last year, a director and his celebrity wife along with very famous actresses visiting sibling, and just released films acclaimed actress, who all the boys made a beeline for.
Downside was definitely post cake cutting when two stupid boys tried to smash cake on my face and force feed me and the cake when down my wind pipe and I choked for like 20 seconds and thought I was going to die. I can actually recall that exact second when I was choking and I was like “this is bullshit, I’m going to die on my birthday!”
Then guilty boys realized their folly and much back thumping and water down the gullet happened and I survived. Thinking they would be repentant and not attempt it again (they only got half my face), the buggers came back after five minutes, held my hands behind my back and very creatively smeared my face all over.
Second downside was when one of my girlfriends said I should definitely get laid tonight and I looked around and only saw all brother type guy friends around. I am so clearly going to die single.
And oh, I crossed over people. I’m officially twenty faux.