Thursday, December 11, 2008

Matchmaking effort No. 37

Sunday 9 PM :

Kunwari Akeli Ladki (KAL) is sitting in her living room watching Season Finale of Grey’s Anatomy. She has already seen till Season 5, through pirated DVD’s, but an opportunity to see for free like this on TV cannot be negated.

(Phone rings with Bangalore number flashing)

KAL picks up thinking it must be Jemima Sanjana or Giggles Sridhar calling from parental landlines

KAL : What man not watching Grey’s ah?
Strange Male Voice : Er Hallo, Hi My name is Mr Vishwanathan, are you the er.. the girl speaking?
KAL : Sorry?!! Excuse me?!! Who is this please?
SMV : Er.. my good name is Mr somethingsomething Vishwanathan, I’m calling regarding your profile posted by yuvar kind sister in Tamil matrimony please.
KAL : oh ok.. er.. yes.. tell me please
SMV : Actually you see, this is the boys father here and this is about my son, somethingsomething Vishwanathan Junior. Hehe hope you didn’t think I was the alliance hehe.
KAL : No Uncal, I certainly did not.
SMV : So can I tell you few things about my son.
KAL : (thinks) er..
SMV : (imperatively) so my son works at (insert pharmacy company name), he is senior somethingsomething manager, wheatish colour, very loving boy ma, medium height, what is yuwar height ma?
KAL : 5 ’10 uncal
SMV : ohh, (disappointed) but yuwar profile says you are 5 ‘4 ma..
KAL : oh sorry my sister lives far away, and I’ve grown up..
SMV : oh ..ok..my son is also close in height ma, should not be a problem. He just bought santro car actually, red colour, you see he was complaining very much about heat and dust in Bombay..
KAL : so he is in Bombay
SMV : yes ma, that’s why I’m calling you..
KAL : er..may I ask how old he is please?
SMV : (long pause) .. he is er… 1970 born ma..
KAL : (longer pause while calculating, ridiculous at math and gives up soon) ok ok er, Uncal by the way can I please ask how you got my number? Did my sister give it to you?
SMV : no ma, it is on site wonly ma..
KAL : on the site! Are you sure uncal? Is my photo also there?
SMV : no ma, I’ve sent photo request, but this number is listed ma..
KAL : oh ok (make mental note to lynch sister)
SMV : so will you tell me few things about yuwarself ma?
KAL : like what
SMV : what does your father do ma?
KAL : I thought you asking me about me uncal..
SMV : same thing no ma..
KAL : er.. no uncal
SMV : oh ok, but he is alive no ma..
KAL : yes he is, but my parents aren’t together.
SMV : (supremely disappointed) oh ho.. tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk. Very sad ma, very sad. But its ok ma, so it’s only you and your sister va?
KAL : umm yes
SMV : and yuwar sister is married no?
KAl : yes
SMV : oh you are having a house in Bangalore?
KAL : yes.
SMV : house or apartment ma?
KAL : err, how is this relevant uncal..
SMV : sorry ma..means
KAL : why are you asking me all this?
SMV : just asking ma, its good to know about the family no ma..
KAL (controlling self), maybe its better if the boy and girl know each other first don’t you think Uncal..
SMV : so will you speak to my son ma, I can ask him to call you in ten minutes…
KAL : er.. uncal actually im practically dying with viral fever right now (this was true), please ask him to call next week. (make second mental note not to pick up unrecognized numbers)
SMV : (extremely disappointed) ohhh, ok ma, you are sick ah. Sorry for inconvenience ma. He will call next week ma. Please don’t forget, his name is somethingsomething Vishwanathan. Ok ma?
KAL : I eagerly await his call uncal.
SMV : ok ma, tata.

18 comments:

fishbowl said...

Funny, these parents are. In face I can seldom understand parents and their young ones marriages.

Your Akka said...

I'm hoping there's THE part 2 continuation to this. I will be looking fwd to it.
And ouch. The lynching still hurts. But again...I really didn't know!!

M said...

i love how they always ask about the parents and family like what you actually do doesn't matter. are they marrying the person or the family?!

Shimmering Mercury said...

Funny:) So did the Vishwanathan "boy" call?:D

Anonymous said...

Brings back memories of delicious food, silk saris, jasmine flowers, coffee, relatives peeking through curtains, 10-minute meeting in verandah with potential grooms. Some parade it was.

Mister Crowley said...

Whattay conversation, ma...thalai is still spinning :P

siropdevanille said...

Haaaaaahahahahaha! WOW!

Anonymous said...

And I cant believe the conversation had such a lasting impression on you!!!And I generally don call from the landline!:pp and Im sure neither will giggles so keep ur guard up for more of these type calls:)

AlwaysHappyKya said...

ROFL !! Awesome !

So typical of uncles to talk like that ma..especially the desperate ones looking for a bahu for their aging son ;-)

Am pretty sure there was a aunty (aka maami) standing next to uncle coaxing him to ask your height-weight-family and other 'important' matters :D

Coo said...

@fishbowl - these boys parents are the funny ones.

@ akka - part 2 will be a copy paste of the chat thread i was having with you while taking to the 'said son'

@M - essactly!

@Shimmering mErcury -unfortunately he did. at midday on some odd day from a landline and i picked up like an idiot. tht will be part 2 to this story

@Anon - im actually starting to wish it was like tht. this almost seems worse

@crowley - aiyo mines also

@Sirop de vanille - yay you're back dilli di kudi!

@Jemima sanjana - no man you call from landline sometimes, so i thought off.

@AHK - ya no?! im sure this uncal would have wanted to know square feet on the house, built up area, whether we have car parked there etc. bleddy.

Keerti Prasad said...

So, what happened next? The week passed and she must be okay now. Did she recieve a call from that fella? :D

Pinochyo said...

KAL..huh? Lets do something about it...How about some good ol boy/ girl hunting ( at the watering hole of your choice) later today/ tomorrow?

La Vida Loca said...

how come I never had experiences like this?
The universe owes me big time ;P

Coo said...

@ Keerthi Prasad - yes 'she' which is 'me' got a call.. thats a whole entire post in itself! The son was even more beautiful than the father!
@Pinochyo - ay pick up phone and call. what is this sydyness..
@La vida loca - please consider yuwarself lucky girl. it is utter torture!

Anonymous said...

lol... funny... watch out for some of the internet marriage type sites though... stalkers and psychos are known to trawl there!

Smiling is not Optional! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Smiling is not Optional! said...

lol, I would love to be No. 38...

Bedazzled said...

Gosh , this tamilmatrimony thingiee is spreading like a pesky virus.. what happend next ? .. i am Soo hooked to u r posts .. have quite a bit of reading to do !