Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Glee dripped out of Natasha like pre-cum

Now what do you do with a line like that? Found by the way in Siddharth Sanghvi's 'Lost Flamingoes of Bombay' here born for bestseller notoriety. I spent most of yesterday wondering if I liked the book or positively hated it. I did love his last book though despite its mad verbosity and ridiculously bad sex with panther’s descriptions. I had just moved to north Bombay and lived very close to Dariya Mahal (which I completely imagine it was set in) and the book made me all dreamy and wistful every time I pictured it set in that beautiful yellow bungalow by the sea.

Anyway moving on, my mother is visiting. Now when you’re 26 and unmarried and unattached and rather uncaring (read : tired) about the aforementioned and you’re mothers visiting, it can only mean one thing. So all this hysteria about “awww home cooked food”, “oh so sweet, how long is aunty staying for”, “call us home for dinner yaa”, are the just the sort of reactions that will make me give you one of my classic scowls and wish you a very quick death.

But let me explain my trauma to you. So my mother got married at 20. My sister at 21 and therefore by vague arithmetic progression my mother was pretty goddamn sure I would too at 22. But when at 22 I brought home a 32 year old lover she wasn’t very happy and decided to give me more time. More time lead to seeming forgetfulness as she jet setted between India and whichever country my sister considered home for that year, then to worrying about my sister not having a baby, then to taking care of pregnant sister, then to blissful grandmother hood. The familial linear progression being perfect at one end and suddenly horror of horrors, severely procrastinated at the other end..

Of course it gets particularly emotionally stressful when you realize that the ordeal is not what you pegged it to be. You always thought the trauma would stem from your rebellion to be single and wild and your need for space and freedom. Instead it stems from looking at the genuinely worried disappointment on your parents face when they realize you might soon be in your 30’s and really lonely and regret that you didn’t settle down earlier. When they are even open to you marrying anybody for love, even if he’s white or black or muslim (the 3 no’s you were so sure she would throw at you). And you slowly albeit surely realize that all they really really want is your true happiness and that they are wise, sure and right enough to know that that can come only with the right kind of companionship and love, and no one’s saying ‘no’ to anything and everyone’s asking ‘how’?

Some of my friends are saying that this is how they start you off. Slowly sow the seed of looming despair and then when you give up, drained and fed – up, they actually start the mad rush of getting you married off before you can say “umm mom I don’t really want to live in Tennessee with Varadharajuperumal”.

Now back to the Lost Flamingos of Bombay.


Sirop said...

Best of luck!

Just enjoy the home-cooked food... :)

As for the book, should I or should I not read it?

La vida Loca said...

Tennessee does not have Varadaraja perumal. More like XX Evangelist. Varadaraja would be some place like New Jersey or California for sure.

If it makes you feel better- at 26 I was single too. Dating the dude I got married to much, much, much later. Still single. And where I come from, that was still sucky.

Coo said...

@Sirop - read read. it'll garner a few laughs.

@LVV - damn, i should have researched that! and yes after a particularly traumatic evening with the mother, your case does make me feel better!

shesturningblue said...

Oh, the marriage blues!
I do want to read that book, the line is intriguing enough

Your Sistah said...

Pink Floyd might've 'barely defined the shape of this moment in time', but you certainly have.

you've written near-perfectly what we want for you to have.

now Time.... that god of all small and big things... is all we need.

mem said...

this freedom to choose boy is very tricky - means what? you are free to chose who to marry - black,white, muslim, but not free to say:
a) i will be single person all my life (no no its really not ll that horible and will prob be way more fun than mrs tenesee vardarajan) b)no choice o say ess maybe i like this fellow maybe i dint but lessee etc.
Ess parents want us to be happy, companioned and loved at the end o the day....but the thing is it is not so terrible if you are not no?

I wish i was old and wise and glamrous and have rocking life so my comment wud ring super true and cool...but I am in exact same boat as you and hoping that being uncompanioned is not so bad.

the snake said...

do not succumb to the despair..best of luck

La vida Loca said...

Likey likey the new template

The sibling said...

ay mrs. vardarajaperumal,
why changing changing template??

Nirav said...

aww...i liked the new template.
the one before this black one...

please be keeping it.
much more cool it be.

El said...

"I did love his last book though despite its mad verbosity and ridiculously bad sex with panther’s descriptions."

I so agree, I loved the first book - the vocab! The sensual love! The weird Gandhi bits and fetish animal sex et all, esp. the Nandini dialogue, seriously though, what was he thinking with this piece of shit flamingo's book? It's laughable to say the least.

Coo said...

@template comments - i dont what to do, the bloody thing wont accept new templates anymore. Some HTML error it keeps showing. im stuck with this black booger. wah. *sniff*